it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
Randomize
