She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
Randomize
