but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
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