Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
a search helicopter?!
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
Randomize
