You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
They should really pass out barf bags in church
Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
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