Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
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