I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
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