yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
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