You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
Randomize
