he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
Randomize
