I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
Threesome in a minivan. New low
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
Randomize
