Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
Drunk walkin through police station. America
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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