Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
I was doing handstands in the jail cell and crying “IM A HIGH SCHOOL TEACHER AND IT’S CHRISTMAS EEEEEVE”
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
Randomize
