I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
Randomize
