I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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