he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
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