Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
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