Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
Randomize
