Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
Randomize
