Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
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