Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
Randomize