Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
His hands were made for my vagina.
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
Randomize