i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
On a not really funny at all but kinda brighter note I've gotten really good at texting in hand cuffs
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
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