it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
Randomize
