I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
It's okay I missed my booty call by two whole minutes so I decided to delete him from my phone and then re-add him as "I am a douchelord"
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
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