And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
No I am not eating basil off your cock
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
Randomize
