I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
Randomize
