i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
i just woke up to that girl in my doorway. I kid you not. Tan and lime green thong on. peeing on the carpet in the hallway. Then she collapsed. There is a load of towels in the wash. Just thought you should know when you wake up. Gross.
woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I guess I fist pumped too hard. I hit my mom in the face and now we're sitting in the ER.
When we told the nurse what happened, she replied with "OH, Well you don't look Italian to me!"
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
Randomize