I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
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