Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
Randomize
