You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
Randomize
