We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
Randomize
