I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
Randomize
