You smell like a Billy Joel song
Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
sex in a hospital.. check
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
Randomize
