AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
Randomize
