guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
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