he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
The ass gains better be worth it
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