Tell her she can't have a vagina
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize
