dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
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