So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
Randomize
