I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
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