If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
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