Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
You'll have to pretend I'm texting you with buddychecks.
Like the Jimeny Cricket of cockblocks.
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize