Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
In other news, I just burned my penis
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
Randomize
