i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
Randomize
