Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
Randomize
