OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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