Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
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