I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
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Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize