I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
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