I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
Randomize
