it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
That's when you crack a 10am beer
my shit smells like andre
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
Randomize
