Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
I have a voicemail from Mike at 1am. He starts to say something, but then throws up instead.
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
Randomize
