We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
Kristen just told everyone at the bar that I've got a huge dick, now Brittany is giving me the eye. What is the opposite of FML?
in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
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She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
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