JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
Randomize
