Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize
