Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
His hands were made for my vagina.
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
