Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
Randomize
