maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
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